ARE YOU RATLEY?

Are you a true beach rat? Take the test...

1. When is the best month to visit the beach?
2. The best beach in California is ____________.
3. What time do you roll into work?
4. Fill in the blank: I _________ getting my hair wet.
5. What is the perfect drink on a hot beach day?
6. My favorite beach shoes are __________.
7. What bikini designer fits you like no other?
8. I want to _________ the salt on my skin.

Answer Evaluation:

1. If you answered anywhere between May and July you are wrong! Ever heard of may gray or june gloom? Late september is a beach rat's favorite time of the year AKA when all the tourist go back to suburbia. Also, those random hot January Santa Ana days.
2. If you said Zuma, sorry, but please go home! Crowded with screaming babies and men in thongs. Also, if you said anywhere with a special key, you can go home too! The true beach rat doesn't care about status or exclusivity, they just want somewhere mellow to relax and get reenergized by their beloved sun.
3. 9am? Yea right. The beach rat doesn't ever wake up before 9am unless they are expecting insane waves. Most rats have purposely picked a job that doesn't require them there until about 4:30pm. This schedule allows them to squeeze in the beach and party late into the night.
4. If you said anything but the word "LOVE", you are nuts! People pay big $ for products to make their hair look like they just went for a swim. The salt water gives your hair that coveted mermaid wave and no hair stylist can even come close re-creating those perfect subtle highlights. Yes, it may feel like a jack-in-the-box curly fry, but it looks gorgeous!
5. If you said, anything but a chilled fresh coconut, you have got to get down to your local health food store and try one NOW! If you need reasons, here they are: 1) Immediate hangover cure! 2) Not only is it a drink, but coconut "meat" is the perfect snack. 3) 100% biodegradable, so you don't add to the already polluted ocean.
6. Leave your sparkly, embellished, designer gladiators at home! No one wants to hear your whining when you step in tar. Beach rats usually don't wear shoes at all and after a while, the bottom of your foot toughens up and becomes better than any shoe out there. Tar tip for all the girly girls: baby oil. 
7. Even the beach rat loves finding that special bikini that feels like it was made just for you---after all it is on her body 24/7/365. Her main requirements are that it stays on when getting thrashed in a current, doesn't look like a diaper or give "dumpy butt" when getting out of the water and is different from all the other rats. She mixes and matches her bikinis not because it is trendy, but because she can't ever find a matching set in her messy house/car. 
8. Wash off? Errrrrrrrrr wrong! Nothing is sexier than when a man has dried salt on his face---kiss a surfer's cheek and you will know what we mean mmmm. A true beach rat does everything possible to avoid showering it off. They need to invent shower caps for the cheeks!

Ok I think you got the idea. Any other beach rat requirements I forgot to add?